No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
