TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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