If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wanna go halves on a baby?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
