using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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