I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
