Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize