people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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