Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize