i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
