I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize