Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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