I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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