Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
