Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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