i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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