Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
