Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
