Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
