ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
