How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
