I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
