She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
