We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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