I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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