so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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