everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
There are leaves in my underwear?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
