it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
