I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
3pm strippers are depressing
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
