What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize