so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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