It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My breasts were aching with rage.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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