whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
