Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
