he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
