PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The beer is more important than you right now.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
