i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
