I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
