A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
