Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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