Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
