he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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