I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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