I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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