I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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