dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
