dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
