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• (817): View more from Texas

  I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.

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• (845): View more from New York

  I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

  (1-613): View more from Ontario

  We are no longer friends.

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• (310): View more from California

  i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets

  (818): View more from California

  julia child would be proud.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back

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• (530): View more from California

  It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.

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• (585): View more from New York

  Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch

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