Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Randomize
