Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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