508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
