Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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