thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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