just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
