it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
