Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
