I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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