Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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