Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
