The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
