Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
