Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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