HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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