remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
