He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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