The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
