I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
