Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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