just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize