i don't like sucking hair
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
