i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
