so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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