i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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