i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
