i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My life is pants optional.
false alarm, still single
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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